Hopefully, this will be the last letter before I get to write the good-bye letter to you. With only a few days until the election, your ridiculous ads and the dirty-money ads your allies are running on your behalf are flooding the television, radio, internet, and mailboxes with such desperation that the only thing most of us want to do is sit in a silent room. Guess that's what you are hoping we will do, huh? Glad to disappoint you on that one.
I thought the stink bugs had invaded my place this week but it turns out it was the desperation of your ads smelling up the entire state. The fake women for McConnell television commercial made me giggle a bit, despite the ridiculousness of you thinking we are stupid enough to believe that even a few, vibrant, bright-eyed, snow-white, Kentucky gals would support you. Alas, one of the four is registered in another state and can't vote for you. Seriously, you really couldn't find four young Kentucky females who either needed the money or wanted the attention enough to take the job? That's amazing.
And, just what did you hope to accomplish with that ad? Could it possibly be exactly what one of them is trying to project onto Secretary of State Grimes? Come on, you can be honest with me just one time. Weren't you really hoping that some young, white girls, would listen to those girls who look just like them? You included a blonde, a red head, a brunette, and a platinum (wow, Team Mitch is all over that platinum fad – good job) by design, didn't you? Really, just once is all I ask. Honesty. Please.
It gets uglier after that. The ad in which you call Secretary of State Grimes (notice how easy it is to use titles, like Secretary of State and President) a hypocrite for providing legal representation for family members who pay their restaurant employees the going (legal) rate for tipped employees is – well, hypocritical. I don't mind sounding like a broken record so here goes: Always, 100% of the time, without fail, more dependable than February coming after January, everysinglesolitary time, when you and your allies falsely accuse someone else of doing something, that means you are absolutely, without doubt, positively, for sure doing it yourselves*. That's the only thing we can depend on you to do.
Must surely have crushed your soul – oops. Silly, silly me. You have no soul. You have no conscience. It must have pissed you off beyond measure that the story about all those drugs being found on the ship connected to your family came out at the same time. Hypocrite would be a compliment compared to what you are.
But, it gets even worse. The television is flashing a kaleidoscope of unbelievable (seriously, unbelievable to any sane person) ads of you smiling and shaking hands with people who are not white, appearing to mingle through your hand-selected mini-crowds of paid enthusiasts, muddling your way on that Hugh Jass bus that your dirty-money allies provided for you through parts of Kentucky that you probably didn't even know existed before whoever was holding your arm to hide (or should that be highlight) the fact that you are a feeble fossil whispered the name of the county to you…
And while we suffer that kaleidoscope of disgust, THIS IS HAPPENING. You, Senator McConnell, may have committed two felonies with illegal* voter intimidation tactics. That tells me that you are a disgrace to Kentucky and to the United States. The only thing more disgraceful than you would be the person who votes for you. It also tells me that you are desperate, and I enjoy every second of thinking that you are feeling like a loser. And, finally, it tells me that you are just as dishonest as the rest of the Republican Party. I guess that makes sense, since you are their supposed leader.
(if I spot any errors, I will probably not correct them since this ended on 666 words and that feels appropriate)
I think it might be a great time to blow up the White House phone lines with calls to investigate Senator McConnell's Party's illegal voting tactics. Today, tomorrow, and Monday. (212) 456-1414 and/or email here http://www.whitehouse.gov/contact/submit-questions-and-comments