Dear Senator McConnell:
It isn’t often that you do something I can thank you for, so this is a circle-the-date, happy day for me.
Thank you (or team McConnell) for the catchy tune that will surely make Alison Lundergan Grimes a pleasant earworm for everyone who hears it. If I didn't know better, I'd think team McConnell is purposely working against you.
And your attempt to belittle Alison by calling her a cheerleader? I thank you twice for that. Once, because I'm going to have fun with it. A second time because I honestly gave you a little more credit than you deserved and I'm happy to take that back. I thought, although you consistently vote against the best interest of women (and men, and children, and the earth), you refrained from publicizing your misogyny and you were a teeny, tiny, itsy bit better than some of you rape/transvaginal ultrasound allies. My guess is you would rather keep your misogyny (or lack of it, as the case might sorta be) in the closet but you know your party won’t allow it, which makes you their -- ummm, I guess puppet is the nicest way to put it. I’m pretty darned certain there’s more evidence that you are a puppet for your party than there is evidence that Alison Lundergan Grimes is a cheerleader for President Obama. But, one thing I like about you is your consistency, and you have consistently refused to allow facts to get in the way of anything you say, on your own or in your role as puppet.
I’ve decided to make this campaign fun. The prospect of finally getting rid of you makes me giddy so fun seems the logical way to go. I am going to make a game of taking every stupid thing that you, your team, your party, or your owners try to use to hurt your opponent and turning it around to make it a positive for her. I’m starting with cheerleader. Funny thing about this – I would love nothing more than a puppet-for-Obama Senator in Kentucky so he can finish everything we elected him to do without having to deal with your obstruction, so that whole idea went over like a lead balloon with me. It probably didn’t impress anyone but your base and your owners.
I’ve declared myself a cheerleader for Alison. Already bought some bright, fun sneakers and changed my internet profile pictures to reflect this status. I’m inviting everyone else who wants to Alison Lundergan Grimes replace you in the Senate in 2014 to do the same.
Anyone else who would like to become an internet cheerleader for Alison Lundergan Grimes can get twibbons here. The twibbon size is adjustable, and can be used as a small stamp in the corner if covering the whole profile picture isn't an option.
Let's get this party started, Senator McConnell!