Saturday, May 13, 2017

Finally Glad to Say Leader McConnell

Dear Leader McConnell:

I've checked in recently and discovered that people are still reading this blog even though I seldom post anything new. Those readers probably feel like they've wasted their time so I am going to try to do better.

In case you are interested, here's a breakdown of the countries from which people are most often seeking information about you, and end up on my blog. I would love to know what, specifically, they hope to find, but will settle for believing you are considered a leader around the world. Famous leaders will be the focus of this letter.


South Korea and Russia, right up there with the United States

It irked me for a long time but I am finally ready to embrace your new title. Leader. You seem quite proud of it. And it's obvious that Trump is nothing more than your puppet, barely capable, mentally or emotionally, of doing much more than signing his name to what you and Ryan have wanted for years, so you have earned it. 

Which means you will earn your leadership place in history: 

Hitler
Stalin
Mao Zedong
Pol Pot
Kim Il Sung
Josip Tito
Menghistu
Suharto
Brzhnev
Kambanda
McConnell

Your authoritarian regime will lead to domicide and every word you speak these days tells us you are giddy at the prospect. I've even seen pictures of you smiling for a change - always after you have done something that will hurt many. What a guy!

Hoping the wide net reaches you,

Sandy